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On occasion, Jay Spring feels he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments can become “detached from reality”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘People will see that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are often coming after a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels sensitive and ashamed about his actions, leaving him highly sensitive to criticism from external sources. He first suspected he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and subsequently confirmed by a specialist. However, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had previously arrived at that conclusion on his own. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they experience a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they made for themselves. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for more than a century, it’s not always clear what is meant by the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people conceal it, due to so much stigma linked to the illness. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Although a significant majority of people identified as having the condition are males, studies suggests this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the covert form, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” notes a 23-year-old who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

First-Hand Experiences

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and being turned down,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to self-protection or I completely shut down.” Despite having this behavior – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she explains she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures in her youth. I’ve had to teach myself all this time which behaviors are and is not appropriate to say during a fight because I never had that in my formative years,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my household were insulting me during my childhood.”

Origins of The Condition

Conditions like NPD tend to be connected with childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the individuals with NPD, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The individual shares when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage feelings. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he explains – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his GP, he was directed to a therapist for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for therapeutic sessions through national services (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the treatment delay for a year and a half: It was indicated it is probably going to be maybe February or March next year.”

He has shared with a small circle about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has accepted it. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is positive,” he says. Those interviewed have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the disorder. But the presence of NPD content creators and the development of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number